ONLINE POKER RANT PART 1 (of a million or so)

When I first started writing this post this past Monday (Not that I call what I do "writing" mind you) I wanted to put the images (screen shots from my poker play on FULLTILTPOKER) in
special places - and add comments as I went on - but with doing that - this post would never have gone up, it would take too long -

SO! Read all of this RANT if you want to.. (I suggest NEWBIES READ THE WHOLE DARN THING) It's a RANT I'll admit it. I really think players out there should consider what it is that I'm telling all of you here -

If not! Best of luck to you - YOU WILL NEED IT! I hope you enjoy.

***I'll come back and add comments over each of the hands (images).. when I get time.

THERE is NOT ENOUGH time in the DAY to EXPOSE the BULL SHIT I see online. It would take like full time jobs for 100 players (players of quality that would care to speak the truth.. and who would put their necks out there on the line...)

Yeah! I'm a dreamer.


IF we would all just report these odd happenings (bad beats) IN MASS numbers - and STICK TOGETHER - maybe some day - players ONLINE will actually get a TRUE RNG system..

What we have today is ANYTHING but RANDOM.

As far as all of the images in today's post goes (I have no time to put them in place with individual comments) - I'm hoping many of you PLAYERS that are advanced can see without explanation the sick shit that happens when I play online.

OF course - as always - Players without years of live poker play are EXPECTED to tell me how wrong I am - so let me save all of you and me some time - PISS OFF! You know nothing about how boring some nights of real poker can be.. Hours without major action.. It's not the MORE hands per hour that happen online BULL SHIT either - so spare us... OK. Really - Go piss up a rope already.

THIS POST IS A WORK IN PROGRESS.. and will be part of a string of posts.. I hope many of the REAL PLAYERS out there that agree with me about ONLINE POKER will GET ACTIVE and COME ABOARD with in exposing online for what it is... a SLOT MACHINE. A Scam.

Here you go - Good luck and sorry in advance - it's a long read written by a NON WRITER with weak "writing" skills at best... I think the points I'm trying to make still make it across.


MY STATS at 54 hands..






















A rare hand - High card wins.. I guess the ALL IN figured "live cards" or just wanted to go to sleep. OR he's just figuring SHORT STACK - just SB and BB - he'd go for it... however - he ran into a hand. GOT TO HAVE ACTION ONLINE.






















Wow! POCKET K'S - WAIT! LOOK AT THIS SICK ACTION!!! (Always happens too - YOU get a hand like this online and you face TABLES looking like this one) CRAZY! It happens live too! Just not as often.

MY THOUGHTS PLAYING THIS HAND ONLINE.... Live I "might" go for it here.. Online - I know between ALL the action AND the insane outcomes - poor cards winning - I lay this hand down EASY! My goal is to WIN the tourney - NOT impress people by PLAYING KK - when I have AA and many draws out there to beat me - I'll wait till another battle and just chock a hand like this UP TO ONLINE insanity.

Key word above! "MIGHT" - There is a good chance I might FOLD them live too.























Now HERE in this hand - the BETTING was WILD pre flop - With raise and re-raise action.. LOOK WHO TAKES IT DOWN... Again, hands like this happen too much online. The better hands are beat way to much (You have to take my word on this)

Just silly... NOT THAT HANDS LIKE THIS HAPPEN... Just that they HAPPEN too much. I seen it ALL live - ANYTHING can happen -

Online - Sick "ANYTHINGS" happen every other hand.





















The cards we see online - A Joke.

THEY ARE ALL FAKE AND SET UP. SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE PEOPLE.... JUST OPEN YOUR EYES! Picture after picture (Are the pictures showing bad beats? LONG SHOTS BEING PAID OFF... What is a BAD BEAT anyways?)

Online - BAD BEATS are what I term EXPECTED BEATS! THEY ARE COMING you know. (The cards that will beat you) and YOU KNOW IT! ***Cmon - You DO know it**** JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD - YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. It matters not TO WHO these beats are givin to - no no. - "It" - "The program" WILL get everyone of us in time..



I for ONE - say BAhhhhhhhh! Playing POKER "online" is not even in the same BALL PARK as live poker. It's nothing close to fair ball. The people running these sites KNOW ALL THIS too... They follow the almighty BUCK! PROFIT! They are ripping players off.

IF YOU CARE ABOUT KEEPING THIS GAME PURE AND REAL... DO SOMETHING - Write a letter - LIVE UP IN A TREE... Chain yourself to a GAS pump.. Riot! I dunno - DO SOMETHING for PETE'S sake!

ONLINE, the INSANE Action you see hand after hand brings FASTER completion to games... BIGGER POTS FASTER - or - FASTER RAKE/FEES. This in turn keeps the fish coming back for more - more - more for the online companies... The FISH you see are HANDED good outcomes for good reason..... It keeps the poor players alive longer and in a SEAT (game).. GOTTA KEEP THAT RAKE MOVING FAST BOYS! BILLIONS of DOLLARS are on the LINE. - (Letting REAL LIFE "losing players" or players that make bad choices all night "LEAVE" is a no no! It aint good for business... I think the "online companies" figure this... let's HELP the poor BAD players out a little - Keep them online. GIVE THEM ACTION! (Even I can say this - action every hand or every other hand keeps you on your toes)

Players playing longer YES SIR! But... with one catch (Not one of them is taking in the BIG payday.. Not even from time to time... Ever actually. This is what my crew reports. THIS IS MY REPORT. You will get to play... that's about it. (As if playing with no chance at winning is really the game PEOPLE! Wake the FUCK UP! WAITE! Am I wrong? ) Tell me HOW I'm wrong...

YOU PLAY POKER (I HOPE) IN ORDER TO WIN CASH - YOU ARE PLAYING TO TAKE other players CHIPS - If we allow systems to FEED us BS cards - THAT NEVER ALLOW US TO GET AHEAD... ***"WTF" *** What is the POINT? You and I have a better chance at FLIPPING A COIN for a fair outcome - The ODDS suck - yes! But WE STILL HAVE a real chance.

50/50 is better than online poker. SKILL will get you next to no where online.

Online poker is a coin toss game where the HOUSE - (The poker site itself) has both sides of the coin covered. PLAYERS ONLINE are so not going to win.

Go ahead .. send me an e-mail or make a comment - TELL US OF YOUR LIVING OFF ONLINE POKER - then WAKE up! SMELL THE COFFEE - You and me and all the others - we are all being HAD - BAD!- It's just the WAY IT IS...

(I'll come and watch a player too - just give me your screen name and THEN.. show me YOU winning by playing QUALITY poker.) I want to see this! I'm sure thousands of players want to see this...

Like my last post from here just the other day read, It's the only game in your living room going on 24/7 IT'S ALL YOU GOT BABY! (All sites are the same) They play the same racket.



I'm sure MANY of you here will file my BLOG today under the UFO sighting section. NOT ME. I play a lot of poker. If you know me - you know this. You do what you have to do - but when you figure it all out - come back and say hey! Fat Tom was right again.... That's right - I said AGAIN.

Today I found another pattern and it's yet another thing about playing online that disturbs me. Makes me sick actually. (I'll share some thoughts from some of my readers as well in the coming days.. They got some great TELLS they are seeing as well...)


Many of you know that I think you have to PLAY the SYSTEM when playing on ANY online site - It takes more than BASIC or ADVANCED quality poker play even..(This is a shame) but it's our REALITY while online. The sites are in PLAIN old fashioned talk.. BULL SHIT people. You have to FOLLOW what it does - REALLY watch what's happening (the system that is.. what it's dealing out) and it's not even hard to do with basic skills - but get this - You still will not WIN BIG. EVEN SEEING THE PATTERNS you are screwed...

When you get big pocket pairs - everyone will FOLD, when you play crap cards - FORGET IT! Hmmm - let me guess - you HIT two pair OR - you ALWAYS hit the LOW on the board. ha ha ha ha! If you choose to play a wild starting hand "by choice and from late pos" JUST TO SEE.... NO GOOD! You will be beat by a player that gets struck by that 1 or 2% chance.

To tell the truth...

I'm just having fun KEEPING my head above water (knowing I really can't win!) and SEEING all these sick outcomes and ACTION "hand after hand" flops! I never see cards on the turn that are BLANKS! BLANK TURNS and RIVERS - ARE YOU INSANE MAN!!! They always have to ADD to the THRILL - a ST draw - a Flush draw OR both.

I'm sick - what can I say - I actually STUDY this crap - Watch all the hands (Even the ones "caugh" that I'm not playing in) I watch as they go down... pre flop betting, the flop, the betting, the turn, the betting, the RIVER, the betting.. THEN I watch the POT - get pushed to some ass that should not have even been in the hand... CRAZY ABOUT POKER I TELL YOU!

(C'mon - you see it too!) Just admit it!

So today following those lines I found yet another ODDITY that happens too much while players are in a game (It just hit me today) IT SMELLS - I was in a hand where I flopped TWO PAIR - into me comes a small MIN raise.. I re-raise to more than cover the MIN and to push others out.. - THE PLAYER AHEAD OF ME PUSHES ALL IN and after him a CALLER! It the ALWAYS going to be there - hands yet to act that also have action hands. (too many calls online - no one ever folds it seems, right?) that coupled with the fact that HANDS (all of our hands hit!!) - it's just the GAME of who will hit the best right?

IS THIS REALLY POKER peeOOOpppLLLEEEEE... C'mon?




So anyways - I hit my Two pair and bet it (quality bet) and get a major re-rasie... I can take this LIKE NO PROBLEM in a live game - but ONLINE it's always after a min raise (from a player one or two seats before me.. that I of course just smooth called... IN OTHER WORDS.. "I'm talking THIS IS SET UP ACTION - IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME SCENARIO"

online if the PLAYER after me - MAKES A SICK ALL IN (no way they should fold to a raise and re-raise prior to their move) with a small hand say "44" OR JUST ANY HAND FOR THAT MATTER... "THEY WILL HIT THEIR SET.." The QUALITY HAND WILL FALL! LOSE. No no they will hit their set on the flop and WHAMMO! QUADS on river.... CMON! (Too many times - people are getting the SET up hands) - The CARDS ARE SET IN PLACE for sick action!!! YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT?? RIGHT? I am! - YOU SEE THESE PATTERNS ALL THE TIME - MANY TIMES in ONE GAME... ALL of us see it everyday. It SMELLS and it's wrong.

Well - that's not the NEWEST ODD HAPPENING to me ... What is odd - Is every time someone makes a catch that is out of this world - I get moved to another table.. (I'm told it happens to some of you as well..) HUH?

GUESS WHAT happens when this little online trick goes down... You and I can NO LONGER see the last hand.... Huh? They catch a 1-2 outer and I can't shoot an image of it for my blog.. (you got to be fast! TRY TO SNAP A SHOT after you get a sick beat) BOOM! They take you away from the TABLE from hell... and you are left sitting there AT A NEW ASSIGNED table saying to yourself... NO MUMMBLING to yourself... WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

You got screwed - that's what happened. Can't spell it out any clearer that that boys and girls -

Anyways - having had enough of that sorta sick shit for my many hours of online play - I figured F it - and guess what ! I hit! I had only 2 outs - and BAM! It was my turn to GET SMASHED by the INSANE OUTCOMES that happen hand after freaking hand. The poor bastard I beat hit a set (and AGAIN not always a LOCK right?) but in many cases it's a winning hand... NOT FOR HIM that hand - not FOR MANY OF US - We always run into a WALL on turn (flush) or ST - OR IN MY SICK LUCK A FULL HOUSE.


IT HAPPENS TOO MUCH PEOPLE! It's like every third hand shit like this goes down... TRY DOING THAT LIVE - with a deck of cards at your kitchen table... Good luck.



OK - In this hand with the BLINDS so high - I'm just taking a stab at the blinds with a raise here - if I get action - I play it cautious - BUT WAIT! LOOK AT THIS SICK ACTION? So much for IF I get action... I don't mind that I get action really - I just have to ASK - Why is ALWAYS "sick , sick, sick" action...

I fold. (lol)


















STRIKES LIKE THIS ARE TO BE RARE - and should be FREAKISH TO SEE! "LIVE" ANDDDDDDDDDDD "ONLINE" TOO" YET ONLINE WE SEE OUTCOMES LIKE THIS DAY IN DAY OUT - MIN AFTER MIN ALL DAY LONG.

Here is a great IMAGE I found (snake and bird) - it shows what a BAD BEAT looks like.
THIS BIRD IS ABOUT TO GET A BAD BEAT!!!

YOU SHOULD NOT SEE OUTCOMES LIKE THIS ONLINE - every other freaking hand. Yet we do - along with never ending FEAR CARDS on the turn and river.

Just like the BIRD in this photo - many online players do not see it coming! Oh the pain. (At least the bird gets to die!) ONLINE PLAYERS must live with online as if they were in HELL. NEVER ENDING PAIN.




If POKER is the DEVIL... What is ONLINE POKER?














ALL THIS AND I STILL HIT THE FINAL TABLE.. go figure. Lucky me! Really - LUCKY ME MAN - I have hand after hand stolen from me with insane turns and rivers and I still make it to the money... Wtf.

DOES THIS SOUND ANYTHING LIKE YOUR ONLINE STORY?


BIG BLIND - No way you see a flop ONLINE... Someone will always get a hand to go nuts with!
















IN WITH THE BEST HERE.... YEAH - THAT'S GOING TO BE A bigTIME LOSER.... Of course - I'm OUT of the game to the BB holding Kw/WEAK KICKER... THE BEST PART! Of course I'm SMOKED on the RIVER! EXCITING! Always EXCITING!























THE PLAYER WITH A2 here in this hand thought he was good for a STEAL - but NOT ONLINE! NO no no!!!! - THIS IS A STANDARD SET UP HAND. If it's not the BB - A player making a move from this late a position will RUN smack into a WALL with a SB or BB holding a BIG hand or a SMALL HAND that hits HUGE.




















CHECK OUT THIS RIVER - ***WHO DID NOT SEE THIS COMING*** I'M TELLING YOU! ONLINE DOES NOT DELIVER BLANKS! YOU ARE GOING TO GET ACTION EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU! (Math people - chime in)






























NOT much to SAY HERE on this guys LAST hand.. - I really try NOT to move with A2 - but here in this hand the BUTTON thinks he good runs SMACK INTO the HAND! THE RIVER! Well - That is something you will SEE all the time online (THREE OF A KIND) WE got to have an EXCITING ending! (poor A2) Thought A high - heads up was a GOOD HAND. Too bad the SYSTEM










TOO BAD THE SYSTEM HAD HIM SMOKED! HAL DOES IT TO THOUSANDS A DAY WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT.


So - to RE-CAP! ONLINE POKER is COMPLETE BULL SHIT!



GO ahead and PLAY AWAY! I do. Just be sure to PLAY THE SYSTEM. Some day - Maybe all of us will get a lucky break and HAL2000 will die a slow death.

Of course - you will find me PLAYING the SYSTEM on FULLTILTPOKER today and EVERYDAY!

Come sign up and see how right I am... hit this link and get to it...

FULLTILTPOKER