Life, hardknocks, health, mistakes, friends and moving on

Life is a crazy thing.  It is Pretty easy when your career, health and the economy are going well. Pain in the nuts and mind when things start going south.  Add and accident, a spider bite and some really poor life decisions "over many years" and you are facing and living a  F.U. B. A . R. life. *Please send me a comment if you don't understand F U B A R.

The worst part of all this for me was/is not knowing bottom. Years of trying to get back up to my previous best and even better only to find multiple new lows.  Finding out how many real friends you have on this rocket ride called life is also a nasty kick in the balls.  There is some good though once you get to looking for good.  You find out who the "great and real friends" are.

A lot of things I did in the past to earn money I can no longer do. Period.  I can also can not change the fact that moves I made in  the internet poker arena have ended the way they did.  Looking back, I did learn a lot about building web sites and SEO, and I did make a great friend, a bloke from across the pond named Chris Naish.  

While Chris and I lost with Real Deal Poker, we also gained.  We were able to set things up so that if Real Deal had made it happen. We were without a doubt, set in life as our sites would have gained more clicks than the actual companies (RealDeal) site itself..   We also know where our hearts were with the company.  100% for it to succeed. 

I have to accept this; look to the positive aspects, and finally embrace and conquer the change.  Master it.  In a nut shell, have to keep getting back on the horse, even if my horse is a complete asshole bronco ball buster.  Ha ha.    I have to start over.  Ugh, it hurts saying that last sentence.

The last couple of months have been hell for me and my family and it's time to get back to the top.  (the reason for the lack of posts)  Slow and easy forward I go. No looking back.  I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm sorry to all who loved me when I was lost and screwing up bad.

I'll say again to my wife and child.  I'm so sorry.  Thanks for not giving up on me.  I'll also say thanks to Chris for throwing me a line of hope.

Here is to better days!  I'm all in.

God Bless our troops and of course everyone involved in 9/11 Washinton D.C. , Pennsylvania and New York..  

Never give up.



P.S. The future of my fundraiser for US veterans is unknown.  While I'm still a good 40 lbs lighter than the start.  I have faltered in the last few weeks.  I'm thinking about all of it, my situation and wondering if I need to donate to myself at the moment, suspend it all for now and continue it when times are better.  Truth is, I'm not sure what I'm doing on all this, I don't want to bring shame to something I care a lot about (Veterans) or myself but I may have bit off more than I could chew givin the kind of year I'm having.  Please know that I still do for my Vets and still will, I just ran a BBQ at the VA hospital about 4 weeks ago.  Working one day is one thing I hope I can always do.